Sexting and sending nudes

Sharing sexual content or engaging in sexual activity online can be a way for consenting adults to express themselves sexually, but it’s important to do it safely and respectfully.

If sexting or sending nudes feels right for you, make sure you understand the risks and how to avoid them. 

On this page:

• What is sexting?[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/staying-safe/sending-nudes-sexting#what-is-sexting] 
• Sexting and consent[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/staying-safe/sending-nudes-sexting#sexting-and-consent]
• Image-based abuse or ‘revenge porn’[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/staying-safe/sending-nudes-sexting#image-based-abuse-or-revenge-porn]
• Cyberflashing or ‘dick pics’[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/staying-safe/sending-nudes-sexting#cyberflashing-or-dick-pics]
• Sexual grooming[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/staying-safe/sending-nudes-sexting#sexual-grooming]
• Tips for reducing the risks[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/staying-safe/sending-nudes-sexting#tips-for-reducing-the-risks]
• Worried your nudes are going to be shared online?[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/staying-safe/sending-nudes-sexting#worried-your-nudes-are-going-to-be-shared-online]
• More information[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/staying-safe/sending-nudes-sexting#more-information]

‘Sexting’ means sending a sexual message or text, with or without a photo or video. It can be done using a phone service or any platform that allows people to connect via an online message or chat function – including WhatsApp[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/esafety-guide/whatsapp], Instagram[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/esafety-guide/instagram], Snapchat[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/esafety-guide/snapchat] and various dating apps.

‘Sending nudes’ usually means sharing intimate photos or videos with someone else, which is the most common type of sexting.

Whether you’re planning a casual hook-up or you’re in a longer-term relationship, sexting may be a way you choose to express yourself sexually. It can allow you to explore your identity, create intimacy or build a healthy relationship. But it’s important to do it safely and respectfully, with the consent of everyone involved. 

Consent is when someone understands what they’re being asked to do, and they give their permission clearly and freely – without feeling pressured.

Consent is an essential part of healthy relationships, including intimate and sexual online relationships. Legally, this means people have to ask for permission before sexting each other. For example, sending explicit sexual messages or images of yourself without consent could be considered sexual harassment. 

It’s your choice whether you want to send or receive sexts, but it’s important that you understand the risks and make an informed decision before you give your consent. Once intimate content has been shared, it’s very difficult to get it back or stop other people spreading it. 

Remember, it’s always OK to say no to sending or receiving nudes or sexual messages. Also, even if you freely give your consent at the start, you can change your mind at any time.

Learn more about consent[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/staying-safe/consent] in intimate relationships, how to set your own boundaries and respect other people’s boundaries – including questions to ask yourself and the other person, so you can set your boundaries together. 

Image-based abuse is when someone shares, or threatens to share, an intimate image or video of a person without their consent.

Sometimes it’s called ‘revenge porn’ because some people do it to hurt a person they were in a relationship with, or threaten to do it unless they agree to get back together. But this term can be misleading and is considered ‘victim blaming’ because it suggests that image-based abuse is about punishing someone who did something wrong or deserves it for sending their intimate image in the first place. Image-based abuse is never OK and no one ever deserves to experience it. If someone breaks your trust by sharing your intimate content without your consent, they are the one in the wrong. 

A person might share or threaten to share an intimate image or video without consent for different reasons, including to:  

• embarrass or upset someone
• get another person into trouble
• make someone do something or stop doing something
• boast or show off
• try to control someone
• cause trouble for someone who was trusted with the image or video (such as a partner or friend).

Sexual extortion

Sexual extortion or ‘sextortion’ is a type of image-based abuse. 

It’s a form of blackmail where someone threatens to share a nude or sexual image or video of you unless you give in to their demands. They may demand money, cryptocurrency, gift cards, gaming credits, or more nudes or sexual content.

It can start with someone pretending to be interested in you, who then tricks you into sending them nude or sexual images, or recording an intimate video of you during a video call. 

Blackmailers often target people through online dating[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/staying-safe/online-dating] sites, social media and gaming apps.

Sexual grooming is when an adult targets someone under 18 and builds a relationship with them so they can sexually abuse them.

The aim of the abuser is to make the child or young person feel OK about sending nudes or getting sexual online, such as in an online chat. Often, they have plans to share the content with other abusers. Sometimes they pretend to be the same age or have the same interests as the child or young person, or they use flattery, gifts or promises to trick them. 

Online child sexual abuse, including grooming, should be reported to the Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation (ACCCE)External link[https://www.accce.gov.au/] immediately. 

Find out more about grooming[https://www.esafety.gov.au/parents/issues-and-advice/grooming-or-unwanted-contact] and other types of child sexual abuse online.[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/illegal-restricted-content/child-sexual-abuse-online]

If you’re worried that a particular intimate image or video of you could be shared online without your consent, there are things you can do.

For example: 

• someone may have directly threatened to share a nude of you
• you may have felt pressured into sharing intimate content, even though you weren’t comfortable with it, and you think it may be shared
• you may have felt OK about it at first, but then something the person said or did made you worry that you should not have trusted them.

Start by asking the other person to delete what you sent or any live video recordings, if it’s safe to do so. 

You can also block your intimate image or video from being uploaded to specific platforms. You need to have a copy of the image or video, but you don’t need to send it to the platform – you can use an online tool to create a digital ‘fingerprint’ (or ‘hash’) instead.

Note: If you agreed to an intimate image or video of you being posted online and have changed your mind, un-tag yourself and ask the person who posted it to delete it. Then you can also have the image or video hashed to prevent it being uploaded again.

Remember, if your nudes are shared online eSafety can help remove them.[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/image-based-abuse/report-image-based-abuse]

Information about sexting and sending nudes is also available for young people[https://www.esafety.gov.au/young-people], parents[https://www.esafety.gov.au/parents/issues-and-advice/sending-nudes-sexting], First Nations,[https://www.esafety.gov.au/first-nations/sexting-and-sending-nudes] LGBTIQ+ people[https://www.esafety.gov.au/lgbtiq] and people living with a disability[https://www.esafety.gov.au/communities/people-with-disability]. 

There are also education resources[https://www.esafety.gov.au/educators] available for primary and secondary school students.