Spotting the warning signs of tech-based coercive control
It isn’t always easy to tell when a romantic relationship is becoming controlling.
It often only becomes clear over time when lots of individual actions by the abuser build up into a wider, more obvious pattern of controlling behaviour. This is called coercive control[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/domestic-family-violence/coercive-control].
When digital technologies are used as part of coercive control, it is called tech-based coercive control[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/domestic-family-violence/coercive-control#how-is-technology-used-as-part-of-coercive-control] or technology-facilitated coercive control.
This is a serious form of abuse that can undermine a person’s confidence, freedom and independence – but it is not widely understood.
To help more Australians identify red flags[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/domestic-family-violence/coercive-control#red-flags-to-look-out-for] or warning signs that a partner might be using technology as part of a broader pattern of coercive control, eSafety has launched a new social media campaign called ‘Love is’ – to reinforce what love isn’t.
Building on the success of our 2023 ‘Love is’ campaign, eSafety has partnered with the Telco Together FoundationExternal link[https://telcotogether.org/] to raise awareness of tech-based coercive control.
Throughout 16 Days of Activism against Gender-based ViolenceExternal link[https://www.unwomen.org/en/get-involved/16-days-of-activism] (25 November to 10 December, 2024), TelstraExternal link[https://www.telstra.com.au/], OptusExternal link[https://www.optus.com.au/], TPG TelecomExternal link[https://www.tpgtelecom.com.au/], VocusExternal link[https://www.vocus.com.au/], Aussie BroadbandExternal link[https://www.aussiebroadband.com.au/], SuperloopExternal link[https://www.superloop.com/], Uniti GroupExternal link[https://www.opticomm.com.au/uniti-group/], Tangerine TelecomExternal link[https://www.tangerinetelecom.com.au/] and IndaraExternal link[https://indara.com/] will be taking the message of ‘Love is’ to employees and customers right across Australia.
| Visual |
|---|
[A series of definitions in the style of a dictionary entry appear] |
love: - to feel deep affection for someone - supporting your ambition to win the local karaoke cup |
love isn't: - to use tech to coerce or control someone - constantly messaging you [text messages appear] - Where are you? - What are you doing? - Who are you with? |
love: - to feel deep affection for someone - giving you space to vent about your boss... again |
love isn't: - to use tech to coerce or control someone - forcing you to share your location data, so they can track where you are |
love: - to feel deep affection for someone - thinking your snort-laugh is the best sound ever |
love isn't: - to use tech to coerce or control someone - telling you what selfies you can and can't post on social media [text messages appear] - I told you not to post that - You look awful - Take it down - I said no |
love: - to feel deep affection for someone - celebrating your successes tiny, big and small |
love isn't: - to use tech to coerce or control someone - getting jealous and possessive when you add new friends online [text messages appear] - Why did you add them? - Who are they? - How do you know them? |
love: - to feel deep affection for someone - always having a shoulder to ugly-cry on |
love isn't: - to use tech to coerce or control someone - getting angry when you don't want to send them nudes [text messages appear] - But you owe me - Why not? - Don't you love me? |
Video: Love is... to feel deep affection for someone
How can I get involved?
Build awareness of tech-based coercive control
To help us educate more Australians, you can join the conversation with eSafety on InstagramExternal link[https://www.instagram.com/esafetyoffice], FacebookExternal link[https://www.facebook.com/eSafetyOffice/], LinkedInExternal link[https://au.linkedin.com/company/esafetyoffice] and X (formerly Twitter)External link[https://twitter.com/esafetyoffice] and share our campaign posts.
Learn more about tech-based coercive control
We have information to help you, your family and friends better understand this abusive behaviour:
- How is technology used as part of coercive control?[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/domestic-family-violence/coercive-control#how-is-technology-used-as-part-of-coercive-control]
- How common is tech-based coercive control?[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/domestic-family-violence/coercive-control#how-common-is-tech-based-coercive-control]
- Is it happening to me?[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/domestic-family-violence/coercive-control#is-it-happening-to-me]
- Red flags to look out for[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/domestic-family-violence/coercive-control#red-flags-to-look-out-for]
- Getting help[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/domestic-family-violence/coercive-control#getting-help]
Last updated: 21/11/2024
