How to help families keep children safe online

Things you can say to parents and carers:

• You can start talking from the time you first take photos of your baby! How we use phones and other devices around children from birth can impact them without you realising. As they grow, describe the technology around them and help them feel like they have a say about decisions that affect them. This can include what they think is acceptable behaviour or content – keep in mind they might accidentally see and become curious about things on your devices. 
• By talking about what happens off and online you can help your child identify unsafe people, situations and behaviours. Having things in the open can also reduce the feelings of shame that may stop children asking for help if they are being abused.
• Children are using a wide range of devices early and some forms of online abuse are increasing in younger age groups. But the good news is that online abuse is preventable with simple steps like supervising your child online, talking about issues they face, and using parental controls on devices and apps.
• eSafety resources for parents and carers, under 5s, kids and young people can help with ideas about what to talk about.

Things you can say to parents and carers:

• Try to stay calm and talk with your child about the situation. Ask open ended questions like ‘I noticed a photo of you (or maybe it’s a friend?) without clothes on in your messaging app. What was happening?’  
• Did you know Kids Messenger has more safety measures than other apps, for example blocking nudity, and ways to check on who can connect with your child? You could use these to help prevent this sort of thing happening again. 
• Once you understand what’s happened you can get more support. Use the The eSafety Guide to report the content to the platform, so it can be removed. 
• If the sharing of content was between children, avoid blaming or shaming them. Instead, use the opportunity to talk about their bodies and privacy. Kids Helpline or ParentLine can help if you need more support and eSafety has advice on talking about these topics with 0 to 12 year olds. 
• It’s important to remember that any type of suspected child sexual abuse, including grooming, should be reported to the Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation (ACCCE). The child can make a report themselves, or an adult can help them.

Things you can say to parents and carers:

• It’s understandable that you might want to share images that show you and your family. These types of photos can help potential partners understand who you are. But there are risks. Some people who share photos of children on dating apps have been approached for sexual pictures of their children.
• The safest approach is to avoid sharing about your children in your dating profile or photos. 
• If anyone approaches you for images or videos of children, report them to the platform and consider making a report to the police. The eSafety Guide can help you report inappropriate contact to the platform or app where it happened. 
• There’s more about safer online dating at eSafety.

Things you can say to parents and carers:

• It’s illegal for an adult or a person in a position of authority to contact a child in a sexual way. Stopping the messaging and getting support for your child is important. 
• Firstly, thank your child for coming to you and let them know they did the right thing. Tell them it’s not their fault and that the adult has crossed a boundary. 
• You can then ask your child if they can explain what happened. You could ask questions about where they connect with the person, how often they communicate online with them and the types of messages they’ve sent each another. 
• If you think the situation could be ‘grooming’ or another type of child sexual exploitation and abuse, it should be reported to the police at the ACCCE (the Australian Centre to Counter Child Sexual Exploitation).
• Ask your child if you can help them record dates and times and details of the interaction, and keep it in a safe place. But you can’t take screenshots of naked or sexualised images of your child, it’s illegal. Find out more about safely collecting evidence.
• You may need to take the device away from your child to stop the abuse or collect evidence, but explain when they will be able to access it again and help them find other ways to say in contact with friends who can support them.
• Help them block any unsafe people from their contacts online and on their phone. You can use the The eSafety Guide to help you. 
• It may be a good idea to access counselling and support options for your child, to help them recover.
• If you think an adult or older teen may be viewing, sharing or creating child sexual abuse material, you could share the support service Stop It Now with them. 

Things you can say to parents and carers:

• Start by having a conversation about respectful communication in your home. eSafety has some guidance on respectful relationships, giving and seeking help in relationships, and power and gender in relationships. 
• If possible, try to talk with both children about cyberbullying and reporting online harms, including abusive messages. 
• If the messages contain cyberbullying material or image-based abuse it can be reported to the platform to take it down. If the platform doesn’t help, you can get more help from esafety.gov.au/report. 
• Depending on the severity of abuse you may need to take further action including making a report to a child protection service. You should also work with your foster child’s case management team to put in place strategies to support them to manage their digital wellbeing.

Things you can say to parents and carers:

• Ask them if they can explain what happened. You could ask questions about where the child is connected to the adult online, how often they communicate online with this person and the types of messages they send them. 
• Help the child to take screenshots of the messages, or record dates and times and other details of the interaction in a safe place. Find out more about safely collecting evidence. This will be important if the abuse doesn’t stop and has to be reported.
• Depending on the severity of abuse you may need to take further action including making a report to child protection. You should also work with your case management team to put in place strategies to support your foster child to manage their digital wellbeing. 
• Help the child to block any unsafe people from their contacts online and on their phone. You can use the The eSafety Guide to help you. You may also need to consider making a report to eSafety.
• It may be a good idea to access counselling and support options for the child to help them recover.

Things you can say to parents and carers:

• Games have many benefits. For example, they can be a great way to connect with your child and strengthen family relationships. For some children, they can provide low-pressure social connection. But online gaming comes with a risk of encountering harmful ideas and behaviours. 
• Sometimes other players might ask personal questions, act too friendly or ask your child to keep secrets. This can be a sign that someone is building a relationship so they can sexually abuse the child – also known as ‘grooming.’ eSafety has advice that can help you recognise the signs, report it and access support.
• Let your child know that people who try to abuse children online usually know how to encourage people to do what they want. Help your child navigate this challenge by focusing on the specific warning signs of unsafe contact and encourage them to talk with someone if something seems a bit weird or they’re unsure. Warning signs may include asking questions about where your child uses their device or who else uses it, inviting them to private online spaces, or asking to meet in person.
• Make sure you child knows you’ll help them, even if they think they have made a mistake. You can also ask them to think of at least four other people that they could go to if they had an issue.
• eSafety’s advice for parents and carers can help you put in place strategies to keep gaming fun and reduce the risks. 

Things you can say to parents and carers:

• Social media is a great way for children to engage with their peers, but when communication becomes unsafe it’s important to encourage your child to stop talking with the person.
• To stop the other person doing this to your child (and other children), help them collect evidence, report the incident to the platform, then block the other person. It may also best to get your child to delete any messages from the other person. The eSafety guide can help you with the steps to take.
• If you’re not satisfied with the platform’s response you can report the incident to eSafety by lodging an online report.
• You can get support for your child through Kids Helpline or another counselling or support service. A ParentLine can also help you work out the best way to support your child.
• If you’re concerned about your child’s safety, contact the police.

Things you can say to parents and carers:

• While social media can be a great way for children to engage with people their own age, when communication becomes unsafe or hurtful it’s important to encourage your child to stop engaging, collect evidence, report the incident to the platform, then block the accounts.
• If your child is receiving threats of harm, they may need to change the location settings on the app they’re using to limit who can see where they are. You may also want to use parental controls on the platforms so that your child can only accept messages from their friends list. 
• If you are concerned about your child’s safety, contact the police.
• It’s important to save screenshots of the messages as evidence. The eSafety Guide can help you and your child report the harmful content to the platform. Once you’ve collected the evidence and reported to the platform, they can block the people who are bullying or threatening them. 
• If you’re not satisfied with the platform’s response you can report the incident to eSafety by lodging an online report.
• eSafety also has further advice about what to do if your child is being bullied online.

Things you can say to parents and carers:

• As children get older they become more independent and want greater privacy for their online activities. But being more secretive could also be a sign that abuse might be happening.  
• Other signs can include changes in how much time your child spends online, or their online activities or friends, avoiding or seeming anxious about their phone or other devices, having unexplained access to money or gaming credits, or becoming quieter or more anxious generally. 
• Reassure your child they can always come to you if something’s wrong, no matter what. They may not feel they can tell you about things that worry them online if they think they will get in trouble. Let them know you won’t stop them using the internet or their devices if they tell you they’re feeling uncomfortable or unsafe online.
• Avoid letting them use their devices in their bedroom, or tell them to keep their door open. Check in with them regularly to see what they’re doing and seeing online.
• Take an interest in their online activities to encourage them to keep sharing with you. Ask about who they’re chatting with and whether they’re having any issues. If you notice a change in your child’s behaviour or mood, talk with them about it. If you’re concerned, consider asking for help from your GP, a psychologist, a school counsellor or another counselling and support service.