Parent resources

Welcome to eSafety’s presentation about Parental controls.

Hi, I’m Deb. I’m one of the team of people at eSafety who research and write online safety advice.

I’m also a parent, so I know how challenging it can be trying to work out the best way to protect your kids online.

Parental controls can be a helpful part of your online safety toolkit – making it easier to get your kids to disconnect at bedtime, making it harder for strangers to contact them and letting you check what they’re up to online.

But deciding which ones to choose and how to set them up can be confusing.

So this video will help you.

Let’s start by looking at what parental controls are.

Basically, they’re software tools that allow you to monitor, filter, limit and block what your child sees and does online.

If you set them up correctly, they can help you understand how your child uses their devices, what sites and games they’re going to and when they’re accessing them.

They can provide reminders to help your child manage how long they spend online, or on particular apps, and you can use them to limit the hours.

They can also help prevent exposure to content that’s inappropriate to their age or potentially harmful in other ways, by allowing you to block access to specific sites.

The types of parental controls that are most helpful for your family will depend on the age of your kids, what they’re interested in and the devices they have access to. 

If your kids are young and still mostly using devices at home, you might find wi-fi controls handy. They allow you to give limited access to a managed list of websites or block specific sites.

So, for  example, you could prevent anyone using the home wi-fi from playing a particular online game.

If you set up your child with their own data plan, make sure you check what parental controls that comes with, to help you manage online risks. 

For example, it may allow you to set limits on the time they spend on the device. 

You can find out about the family-friendly settings available on the actual phone, gaming console or other device by going to the provider website. 

Apple, Microsoft, Google, Xbox, PlayStation and others have information pages just for parents.

You can also use parental controls to manage the accounts your kids use.

Where possible, it’s a good idea to start by creating an account for them that’s linked to your own, so you can use your phone, tablet, iPad, laptop, computer or gaming console to manage what they’re doing.

Parental controls in accounts usually allow you to block access to adult websites, limit the use of devices to particular times, manage who your child can phone and message and who can contact them, and limit how much money they can spend online.

It’s the same for many games and specific apps. TikTok, Roblox, YouTube, Messenger Kids, and lots of others have settings to help you make sure young users have safer experiences.

So check them out.

If you need extra help or advice, eSafety’s parent resources page has a step-by-step guide to help you get started.

Now, if your child’s begging you to download the latest thing that everyone is playing or spending time on, there are three things you should definitely do.

First of all, do some research yourself, looking at reviews and checking out The eSafety Guide (esafety.gov.au/key-issues/esafety-guide), which includes advice about reporting unsafe content or behaviour and blocking unwanted contact.

Secondly, use eSafety’s new technology checklist (esafety.gov.au/parents/resources) to help you chat with your child about whether the game or site is appropriate for their age and maturity, what risks there might be, and whether there are safety features to manage those.

Thirdly, play the game or use the app with your child, so you can talk together about strategies for staying safe, and what to do if things go wrong, especially how to report issues to the site or app or to eSafety.

Also remember that despite what your child tells you, it may not be true that ‘everyone’ IS actually playing the game!

It could be handy to talk with other parents about what their kids are allowed to do, what risks they’ve noticed and how they’ve dealt with them.

If they’re also finding it difficult to work out, let them know they can visit us at esafety.gov.au for tips and resources.

Another good idea if you have children of different ages with different devices – think about the best parental controls for each child and each device separately. 

It’s also important to be aware that parental controls on their own won’t protect your kids from every dangerous scenario, every time. That’s why we say they’re just one of a range of tools that can help keep your kids safe online.

You should also get into the habit of talking with them about what they’re doing online, what others are up to and how to get help if anything goes wrong. 

Create a family tech agreement together, to decide when, where and how devices and accounts can be used. This allows you to have discussions about balancing screen time with other activities in a relaxed and constructive way.

Help your child choose sites and apps that support their knowledge, skills and personal growth, while also allowing them to have fun. And check their device settings regularly to see if they’ve been affected by automatic updates or been changed by your kids themselves. 

At times it may feel like you’re constantly managing tech tantrums, boundary setting, negotiating and clock watching, but when your kids are young, they’re learning from that – getting into habits that will set them up to self-regulate their experiences online as they become more independent. 

Encouraging them to think and talk about online issues and safety strategies nice and early will help them make sensible, positive choices when it’s time to go it alone. 

I hope you’ve found this video helpful.

There are plenty more tips on our website at esafety.gov.au

And don’t forget, you can sign up to our newsletter (esafety.gov.au/about-us/subscribe) to get all the latest research and advice directly to your inbox.  

Social media and being online generally can be a great way for kids to keep in touch with friends and an important support for them during challenging times. But the online world also has risks. 

Hi, I'm Deb. This video has tips on how you can encourage positive online habits and support your child if something online is impacting their mental wellbeing. 

Our first tip is to talk regularly with your child about how what they see online can affect their mood and wellbeing. You can make a habit of asking them to show you what they like on apps they use like YouTube, TikTok or Instagram. And on their gaming platforms. 

Also, talk to them about your own online experiences. You can let them know it's normal to have emotional reactions to things they see online. 

These regular chats can make it easier for them to tell you if they've seen something that has made them feel uncomfortable or upset and whether they use settings to better control what content they receive. 

For example, group chats can be stressful, especially when they're posting 24/7 with their friends. Suggest turning off notifications so they can have a break when things get a bit much, especially on social media. 

Talk with your child about what safe online behavior is and how to manage negative experiences. Also, how they can report content or block users. You can check The eSafety Guide together for helpful tips about adjusting the settings.

Now, when it comes to gaming, 8 out of 10 young people enjoy it especially the social connection and it can help relieve stress. But gaming can also come with negative talk and frustration and your child may be contacted by people wanting to harm them. 

You can try playing the games with your kids and chat to them about how they manage any problems. eSafety has more advice for parents and carers on gaming and other topics. Just go to eSafety.gov.au and click on the Parents tab. 

Keep in mind that it's important for the young people in your life to know that they can come to you without fear of getting in trouble, if they're experiencing something online that's serious, whether it's upsetting or they just have questions about it. 

Remember, you may not have all the answers, but they need to know that you're interested and there to support them. Explain that you won't be angry or stop them using their device if they tell you something personal. 

You can also suggest other people or organisations they could talk to if they're worried about telling you. And if your child does tell you something that they've seen online is impacting how they feel, try to understand their experience and reassure them that it's okay to have an emotional response. 

If the experience involves their friends, tell them why other adults might need to be involved – especially if the person is harming themselves or talking about it. You could say, 'I know you're worried that your friend will be angry with you for telling me. But it was the right thing to do – you're a good friend for caring about their safety'. 

You could ask the school about counselling and how to contact the school psychologist. Or you can visit the eSafety website for information about counselling and support. Kids Helpline, headspace, ReachOut, and The Butterfly Foundation all have excellent resources for parents and young people who are dealing with issues like mental health challenges or body image. 

It's also normal for parents and carers to feel strong emotions, especially when their child's dealing with mental health issues. But it's really important to respond in a calm and helpful way. 

Parents who've experienced their child in a challenging situation, often find it useful to talk about what's going on. Parentline, ReachOut, Beyond Blue, Q Life and Kids Helpline can all give you support. 

I hope you found this video helpful. There are plenty more tips on our website at esafety.gov.au. You can also subscribe to our newsletter to keep up to date with the latest research and advice. 

Welcome to eSafety’s presentation for parents and carers about cyberbullying and online drama. 

Hi, I’m Deb. I’m one of the team of people at eSafety who research and write online safety advice. 

I’m also a parent, so I know how challenging it can be trying to work out the best way to protect your kids. 

And these days, one of the big worries is that they could be hurt by online bullying, which also known as cyberbullying, or sometimes called ‘online drama’ by young people.

In fact, in one of our surveys, only 46% of parents and carers told eSafety they were confident they could deal with cyberbullying if it happened to their child. And that’s exactly why eSafety is here.

We’re a Federal Government agency that helps Australians have safe, positive experiences online. We also investigate and help resolve serious online abuse, including cyberbullying.

Every year hundreds of thousands of parents, carers and young people turn to us for support and advice, and resources.

In this video I’ll share our advice for helping your child deal with cyberbullying, but also some tips for navigating online friendships to help them prevent issues in the first place.

Now, being online should be a great way to learn and socialise, to access services and just to have fun. But lots of young Australians struggle with online bullying.

In fact, one in five young people, aged 8 to 17, told us they’ve experienced things like being picked on, humiliated, threatened or excluded online. These are all types of cyberbullying.

It mainly tends to happen on social media and in online games or apps where a chat function allows people to talk with each other or send messages.

At eSafety, we’ve seen how negative experiences online can make young people feel anxious, sad and alone.

And because these days what happens online is a key part of real life and very public, cyberbullying can impact on their identity and how they feel about themselves causing long-term damage to their confidence and self-esteem.

That can be devastating.

So what can you do about it as a parent or carer?

Well, as a lot of us know, it can be hard to figure out if your child’s experiencing a problem, let alone if they need support for it.

Keep in mind that some young people have told us they don’t report cyberbullying and other types of online abuse because they feel embarrassed, or they fear the other person will retaliate or hit back, or they simply don’t think anything will change.

So you may not be able to tell for sure if your child is being cyberbullied, but there are some signs you can look for.

Maybe they’re getting upset after using their phone or being on the internet. That could be because they’ve just been harassed online.

Maybe they’ve become more private when they’re using their phone or computer. They could be avoiding talking about what’s happening online or only using their devices where you can’t see or hear them, because they’re worried you’ll ban them from the internet if you find out they’re being cyberbullied.

And here’s an important tip: Banning them is not something we recommend, because it can make things even harder for them socially.

Another sign to look out for is avoiding friends or making excuses not to go to school, which could be because the conflict is with a friend or classmate and it’s happening both online and offline.

If you notice any of these signs, start by talking with your child about what might be going on.

Let them know you’re there to help, not to blame them or to punish them. Then actually help them or encourage them to report the abuse to the site or app where it’s happening.

If the cyberbullying gets really serious and the site or app doesn’t help, that’s where it can be reported it to eSafety.

Then we can step in to deal with the company directly and negotiate to have any abusive content that’s still online removed, so people don’t keep seeing it.

To explain a bit further, here’s a real-life story about eSafety helping a teenager who came to us because she was being badly cyberbullied. To protect her privacy, let’s call her Hanna.

Hanna had already reported the cyberbullying to the social media site where it was happening, and the site had closed the account of the person doing it, but they kept creating new accounts, which is sometimes called phoenixing.

Some of the messages even said Hanna should kill herself. So as you can imagine, she became really distressed and anxious.

When Hanna contacted eSafety for support, our cyberbullying team investigated her complaints and worked with the social media company to stop it happening.

Hanna was able to provide lots of detail, including where the cyberbullying was happening and the account names, as well as screenshots of the abusive messages, which really helped our investigation.

Eventually the device being used to create the accounts was identified and the social media company blocked that device to prevent any new abusive accounts being created. The person responsible received a formal warning from the police, and the cyberbullying stopped for good.

And I’m pleased to report that when we followed up with Hanna sometime later, she was doing really well. With the support of her parents and friends she was feeling much less stressed and the longer-term impacts of the cyberbullying were fading.

So what can you do if something similar happens to your child? Here are the steps.

First, collect any evidence and information about the cyberbullying. Taking screenshots of the abusive comments and the profiles of the people posting them is a good idea.

Next, report the bullying to the social media site or game or other app, giving them as much of that information as you can. If they don’t help, or the abuse continues, then you can make a complaint to eSafety. It’s easy – you just fill in our online form.

If your child is being really seriously harassed, threatened, humiliated or intimidated online, we can negotiate to get the abusive content removed, and help resolve the conflict.

But there are some practical ways you can help your child avoid cyberbullying in the first place, so let’s take a step back.

Just as we check in with our kids about eating healthy foods and brushing their teeth, we also need to have early conversations that help them develop good online habits.

One of those habits we should all follow is regularly checking the settings on our devices and accounts so our privacy and security are protected.

For kids, that means adjusting the settings so they’re appropriate for their age and maturity. For example, can they chat only with friends, or with strangers as well?

And don’t forget to update the settings as your child grows and how they use their devices changes, because the risks also change.

You can do this with your child at first. Then, as they become more independent, remind them to do it themselves.

There’s also a range of features on social media accounts, games and other apps that can help your child manage their online relationships. For example, many allow you to mute or hide comments.

This can be useful if your child is having a tough time with an online friend or needs a break from their opinions, but doesn’t feel it’s serious enough to unfriend or unfollow them, at least yet.

If things get worse, you can help your child take some screenshots and report the abuse to the site, then use the settings to block the other person, so they can’t make contact any more.

Many apps, such as Instagram, Facebook, Tik Tok and Discord, have parent guides on their sites to help you use their safety and security features. And The eSafety Guide also lists the options available on most popular apps.

Another useful strategy is to help your child build the social skills that support positive online experiences.

In our recent research, 9 out of 10 teens told us they want to create positive online relationships.

So a simple tip like encouraging them to get their friend’s permission before posting a picture of them is a good way to help build respect within friendship groups.

eSafety has great self-help resources that can make it easier for your child to understand and manage online issues.

Let them know our website, esafety.gov.au, has pages developed specially for Kids if they’re in primary school and for Young People if they’re in secondary school.

The pages cover a wide range of cyberbullying issues, like the difference between ‘banter' and 'bullying’ and what your child can do if they’ve been called a bully.

You can also help your child think about how they could manage their emotions and reactions in difficult situations, by asking questions like: 

What could you do if you felt frustrated or angry about something that’s happening online?'

What could you do if you saw someone harassing one of your friends?

What could you do if you feel like someone is trying to make you look bad?

Now, talking about these things may sound easy to someone who doesn’t have kids, but we know the reality at eSafety.

A lot of parents are uncomfortable when it comes to having conversations about online safety.

We get that. It can feel like our kids know more about the latest technology than we do. It’s hard to keep up, let alone stay ahead of them!

But remember, when it comes to working out issues, you have a lot more life experience to guide you. You also have a secret weapon: esafety.gov.au

Our website has a large section for parents and carers, so there’s a heap of tips and resources just a click away.

You can also subscribe to our newsletter, which keeps you up to date with the latest research and advice. 

And you can sign up to a webinar, to learn more about the issues and how to manage them.

The main thing though is to ‘start the chat’ with your kids and keep the communication channels open.

If you get into the habit of talking about online safety as a family before your kids face any issues, they’re more likely to come to you when they feel concerned or if something does go wrong.

And when you start that chat, one of the most important things to get across is that it’s OK to ask for help early and often.

Encourage your child to do that. Talking about an issue like cyberbullying and getting help when it first happens can prevent a lot of ongoing harm and long-terms impacts.

Of course, there may be times when you’re not around or your child doesn’t feel like talking to you.

So help them identify a good person who you both trust, to go to if they ever have concerns.

It could be an older brother or sister, an aunty or uncle, or another trusted adult like a teacher or school counsellor.

It’s also a good idea to teach them how to access phone and online counselling services.

You could put the details for Kids Helpline and eHeadspace on your fridge.

And there’s support available for you too

Each state and territory has a dedicated Parentline service that offers advice and counselling.

And now to a final point. Online safety goes beyond your house and your family. It’s something we all need to work on together.

So, it would be great if you could share what you’ve learnt from this video with other parents and carers. And recommend esafety.gov.au to them! 

That’s how we can strengthen our communities and make the internet a better place for everyone.

Thanks for taking the time to watch this video. I hope you feel empowered to start the chat with your own kids, so they have safe and positive experiences online. 

But remember, if things do go wrong you’re not alone.

eSafety is here to help.

Welcome to eSafety’s presentation for parents and carers about online sexual harassment and image-based abuse.

Hi I’m Deb. I’m one of the team of people at eSafety who research and write online safety advice. 

I’m also a parent, so I know how important it is to feel you can support your kids if they’re having issues, online or offline.

Connecting online can be a great way to learn and socialise, to access services and just to have fun, but it comes with some risks.

At eSafety, we’re seeing an increase in the number of young people coming to us for help dealing with online sexual harassment, as well as image-based abuse, which is when an intimate image or video of someone is shared without their consent.

This kind of behaviour can be incredibly distressing, but there are steps young people can take to deal with it, so that’s what we’ll look at in this video.

First up, online sexual harassment is never OK, regardless of gender, sexual preference, sexual identity or cultural background. No one should have to put up with it and it should never be seen as the fault of the person targeted. 

Let your kids know that, so they’re not worried you’ll think they’re to blame if they ever need help. And make sure they know they can turn to you as their parent or carer, or to another relative or trusted adult like a teacher, or if it’s really serious, a member of our team here at eSafety. They don’t have to deal with sexual harassment on their own.

Unfortunately many teenagers, especially girls, think online sexual harassment is just part of life. 

Sexist comments are quite common, along with repeatedly being asked for nude photos or to get sexual over a webcam. Unwanted nudes can be dropped into their messages or there could be bullying or rumours online about them being gay.

It’s really hard to manage that sort of pressure, especially when you’re young. And it’s not just on social media; it can happen in online games, video calls and texts too. But there are things they can do about it.

The first step is to collect evidence like site URLs or account addresses, user profiles and the dates when posts, comments or messages appeared. It all helps build a case to stop the harassment.

The next step is to report it to the site or app where it happened. Do you think the young people in your life know how to do that? Possibly not.

So here’s a good tip: Get them to show you how they would report sexual harassment in their top 3 apps. If they’re not sure, use The eSafety Guide to help them work it out.

If the site or app doesn’t help and the young person is being seriously harassed, humiliated, intimidated or threatened online, eSafety’s cyberbullying team can step in to stop the behaviour and remove the abusive content.

The young person can report it to us themselves, or you can do it for them if they’re under 18.

And now some advice about image-based abuse. That’s when someone shares a nude or sexual image or video without the consent of the person pictured, or threatens to do it. That’s illegal. The person responsible might be someone they know, or they’ve had a relationship with. 

Young people sometimes share nudes or partial nudes, or even get sexual during a video call and record it. Then one of them or a friend might share that online thinking they’re being funny, or because they want to hurt the person shown. In some cases, an ordinary photo or video is altered to create a fake nude, which can be just as devastating when it goes public.

Would you know how to support your child if that happened to them? Remind yourself being abused is never their fault. You might not like the fact that they’ve shared intimate content, but they need to feel OK about coming to you, so the situation doesn’t get worse.

Help them collect evidence, like details of the site, user profile and date and time of contact, but never save nude or sexual photos of anyone under 18, it’s against the law. Then help them report the image based abuse to eSafety as quickly as possible, so we can help to get the content removed before it spreads.

Young people tell us they want practical help with that and getting information about counselling services like Kids Helpline. 

There are also child sexual exploitation cases, where kids are tricked or coerced into sharing nude or sexual images.

Fourteen-year-old Adella thought she was chatting online to a friend of a friend called Jesse, who was the same age as her. After some flirting, she sent a topless picture of herself, then he threatened to share it unless she sent him nude videos. Thankfully she had the courage to report what happened and it turned out Jesse was an older man in the United States.

So, talk to your kids about the warning signs like someone is getting too friendly too quickly, promising them gifts and asking them to keep secrets.

If you suspect a young person’s being groomed or abused by a sexual predator reassure them they’re safe and they’re not in trouble. Then report it to police via the ThinkUKnow website, or you can make an anonymous call to Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000.

We all need to help change the culture when it comes to sexual harassment and sharing intimate images without consent. So make it clear to your kids that this type of behaviour is never funny or justifiable, not even if something hurtful has been done to them.

Talking about respect, sex, consent and abuse with young people can be challenging, but don’t let that stop you. eSafety’s resources for parents and carers will help you start the chat.

You can also subscribe to our newsletter, to keep up to date with our latest research and advice. And let your kids know we also have tailored resources especially for them at esafety.gov.au/youngpeople.

It’s also a good idea to talk with your kids about how to contact people and services who can support them, like Kids Helpline, HeadSpace, QLife and ReachOut and encourage them to think about other trusted adults like family members, friends or teachers who they could they turn to if they were going through a tough time. 

There’s support available for you too each state and territory has a dedicated Parentline service that offers advice and counselling. And if this topic brings up issues for you, you can also contact 1800 RESPECT. 

I hope you’ve found this video useful remember you don’t have to have all the answers, but every conversation you have with your kids about online issues helps keep them a little bit safer.

Hi, I'm Jimmy Rees and today we're reading Swoosh, Glide and Rule Number 5 from the eSafety Commissioner.

[Jimmy reads]

'They will be here soon,' said the sugar glider mum, as twins Swoosh and Glide waited in their old river gum.

'Coooeee, sleepover time!' yelled their uncle in a flash, as he landed with their cousins River, Reed and Ash.

After they had all hugged and said a warm 'hello', they played Statues and Chasey and other games you may know.

They whispered and giggled as they played Hide-and-Seek, while Swoosh counted numbers and tried not to peek.

What's the time, Mr Wolf? was the next game to play. Cousin Ash called 'Dinner time' and they all ran away.

The 'big wolf' made Swoosh feel a bit funny inside. This feeling made Swoosh want to run away and hide.

It was time for a rest when a sight met their eyes. Grandma and Grandpa were calling out 'SURPRISE!'

They'd called on their new tablet straight to the hollow. Glide asked them if they had special rules to follow.

The grandparents asked, 'What rules do you mean?'

1. 'Be kind, take turns!'

2. 'At dinner time no screen!'

3. 'Use it only in shared spaces!' Glide proudly said.

4. 'Ask before you use it!'

and 5. 'No taking screens to bed!'

Mum finished stirring and called 'Dinner will be soon. 'Say goodbye. Time to go. We'll chat tomorrow afternoon.

'Put the tablet away, I need some help please. We need cups and saucers for our sweet leaf teas.'

While the others played possum games and Mum stirred the soup, Swoosh took the tablet and hid from the group.

A silly video made Swoosh laugh so hard, it was lots of fun. Swoosh clicked on another, and another, and then another one.

But the last one was not nice or fun anymore. Swoosh dropped the tablet and curled up on the floor.

Glide ran to help. 'What can we do?' they said to each other. 'Put it away?' 'Turn it off?' They decided to ask their mother.

Swoosh soon told her, 'Something not nice was on the screen. It made me feel funny in my tummy, like when Mr Wolf screamed.'

Mum held their little hands and told them as she knelt, that they did the right thing to come to her for help.

Uncle declared, 'If something's not right while you're on a device, go quickly to your grown-up and ask for advice.'

He pressed on a button and a happy tune came on. 'Here's something that I wrote called My Family Rules song.'

Then Uncle saw the time and waved a fond goodbye. 'Got to go. Sun's up soon, so I really must fly.'

He jumped off that old river gum's branch with an almighty leap, looping to his homely hollow for a good day's sleep.

The children sat down, the table was cleared, a last game of Snap, all sugar gliders cheered.

'The sun's coming up,' said Mum with a yawn. 'It's time for bed, it's getting close to dawn.'

In bed Mum gave everyone a warm kiss goodnight and said, 'Night, night, sleep tight don't let the bed bugs bite.'

And in the wink of an eye the three cousins and twins were sound asleep and dreaming of their favourite things.

With the little ones asleep before early morning's glow, Mum set off to bed on her tippy tiptoes.

But guess what happened as she watched Bush News Live? Swoosh, shuffled in and called, 'MUM! Rule Number 5!?'

And that's the end of the story. What did you think?

Do you have family rules at home?

Remember to always ask for help when you're online, just like Swoosh and Glide.

Well that was fun. I'm Jimmy Rees. Goodbye.

[Singing]

I wanna be safe, safe, safe,

When I go online, line, line

In every place, place, place

And all of the time, time, time

If I need, I can ask for help

And then I'll be fine 

'Cause I like to be safe, safe, safe

All of the time online

Be safe, be kind

That's what I do when I'm online

If something looks strange or scary

I can ask for help

When we play online, we can have a good time

If we use our voices and make good choices

The internet can be so much fun

With lots of things for everyone

Well I wanna be safe, safe, safe

When I go online, line, line

In every place, place, place

And all of the time, time, time

If I need, I can ask for help

And then I'll be fine

'Cause I like to be safe, safe, safe

All of the time online

Yes, I like to be safe, safe, safe

All of the time