Unwanted or unsafe contact

If a stranger or someone you know has contacted you and it’s made you feel uncomfortable or harassed there are ways you can manage the situation and keep yourself safe.

On this page:

• What is unwanted or unsafe contact?[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/staying-safe/unwanted-contact#what-is-unwanted-or-unsafe-contact]
• What can I do to stop unwanted or unsafe contact?[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/staying-safe/unwanted-contact#what-can-i-do-to-stop-unwanted-or-unsafe-contact]
• Tips for reducing the risk[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/staying-safe/unwanted-contact#tips-for-reducing-the-risk]
• More information[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/staying-safe/unwanted-contact#more-information]

Unwanted contact is any type of online communication that makes you feel uncomfortable, unsafe or harassed. It can be with a stranger[https://www.esafety.gov.au/educators/classroom-resources/online-friends-and-strangers] or someone you know. Unwanted contact can include:

• being asked inappropriate or personal questions
• being sent upsetting or offensive content, including unwanted sexting[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/staying-safe/sending-nudes-sexting]
• being asked to send intimate images or do things online that make you feel uncomfortable
• being repeatedly contacted by someone even though you have asked them to stop.

You may actually welcome the contact at first, until the other person says or does something you don't like.

There are different ways someone can contact you and make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. They include the following scenarios.

They use ‘bombing’ as a tactic to make it look like they are a mutual friend

They try to friend or follow as many people from your school, sports team, university or community to make you believe they are a ‘real’ person you haven’t met before. For example, they might pretend to be the same age as you or a ‘new’ student in your class.

Sexual grooming

This is when a sexual predator tricks someone under 18 into thinking they’re in a close relationship, so they feel OK about sending nudes or getting sexual in a live chat. Usually they’re an older person (often known as a ‘paedophile’) who plans to share the content with other sexual predators. Sometimes they pretend to be the same age and have the same interests as the child or young person, or they use flattery, gifts or promises to trick them.

Grooming can lead to child sexual abuse. Any sexual activity between a child and an adult is child sexual abuse. Sexual activity may be sexual intercourse, sexual touching or sexual acts that happen in person or online. It may involve coercion, force or implied force. Online child sexual abuse is any form of sexual abuse of a child under 18 that has a link to the online environment. Find out more about child sexual abuse online[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/illegal-restricted-content/child-sexual-abuse-online].

If you're under 18, the best way to get help is to report the unwanted contact to the Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation (ACCCE)External link[https://www.accce.gov.au/].

Hooking you with a fake profile

This is when someone makes a fake profile and pretends to be someone they’re not, so they can scam you. Sometimes this is called ‘catfishing[https://www.esafety.gov.au/young-people/catfishing]’.

This person usually sends a direct message to you with a ‘sexy pic’ they claim is of them, then they might ask you to send a naked selfie or join a ‘sexy chat’. Next, they threaten to share the nude or recording of you with your friends, family or co-workers unless you pay them. This is a type of blackmail called sexual extortion[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/image-based-abuse/deal-with-sextortion] or ‘sextortion’. 

Cyberstalking 

This is when a person keeps track of you online in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, worried or threatened. They make repeated unwanted contact with you with calls, texts, emails or direct messages, and might even find you on different online platforms, so they make you feel like you can’t ‘hide’ from them. Find out more about cyberstalking[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/staying-safe/cyberstalking].

‘Dick pics’ and other unwanted nudes

This is when you receive an unwelcome message, text, Airdrop, Nearby Share or email with an intimate image or video of the sender or of someone else. It can show a male, female or transgender body. This is sometimes called 'cyberflashing'.

It can feel creepy or upsetting to receive unwanted nudes because it makes the interaction between the sender and you sexual without your consent. This is a form of sexual harassment.

3. Stop further contact and tighten security 

• Stop all contact with the person who has made you feel uncomfortable, unsafe or harassed.
• Use in-app functions or your device settings to ignore, hide or mute the other person’s posts or comments. After collecting evidence you can also block them, to take away their power to harass you. 
• Update your account and device privacy settings, to limit who can contact you. Make sure people can only Airdrop and Nearby Share with you if you agree.

The eSafety Guide[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/esafety-guide] has advice on key online safety functions for many online services, including social media, online games and other apps.

4. Get more help

What you’re going through is not easy, so talking about it with someone you trust may be helpful. Or you can contact a confidential counselling and support service[https://www.esafety.gov.au/about-us/counselling-support-services], especially if you’re feeling anxious or depressed. 

Adjusting the privacy settings on your accounts and devices helps you stay in control of who can contact you directly, and who can see what you’re doing and where you’re going.

You can change your account settings to mute, hide or block unwanted contact. Check The eSafety Guide[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/esafety-guide] for links to common platforms and services. Change the privacy settings on your device to make sure people can only AirDrop or Nearby Share with you if you agree. You can also block people and download apps that restrict incoming calls and messages. 

• Apple devicesExternal link[https://support.apple.com/en-au/HT201229]
• Android devicesExternal link[https://support.google.com/messages/answer/7029021?hl=en&visit_id=0-636391496985651450-719634153&rd=1].

It’s also a good idea to check your location sharing options to make sure only specific friends can see where you are.

If you want to know how to check what information about you is public, see our advice on managing your digital footprint[https://www.esafety.gov.au/young-people/digital-footprint] – the page is written for young people, but the tips are useful for people of every age.

You can also find more advice in our pages on identity theft[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/staying-safe/identity-theft] and how to manage your device safety settings[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-issues/how-to/connect-safely]. 

This page offers general advice for adult audiences. Tailored information is also available for kids[https://www.esafety.gov.au/kids/I-want-help-with/someone-is-contacting-me-and-i-dont-want-them-to], young people[https://www.esafety.gov.au/young-people/unsafe-contact], parents [https://www.esafety.gov.au/parents/issues-and-advice/grooming-or-unwanted-contact]and anyone experiencing unwanted contact as part of domestic and family violence[https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/domestic-family-violence]. There is also advice for sport communities in our Sports hub[https://www.esafety.gov.au/communities/sport].