Almost a quarter of Australians think it's reasonable to expect to have a partner’s device codes and more than 1 in 10 think it's reasonable to expect to track a partner using location-sharing apps, new eSafety research shows.
The quantitative survey of 2,046 Australian adults mapped the extent to which people agreed or disagreed with a range of specific behaviours and expectations that could be red flags for tech-based coercive control by an intimate partner.
The research, conducted by the Social Research Centre, found that while most Australians did not agree the nominated behaviours or expectations were ‘usually a sign of care’ or ‘reasonable’ within an intimate relationship, a sizeable portion agreed they were. Generally, those who agreed were more likely to younger, men, or spoke a language other than English at home.
Key findings include:
- 23.3% agreed or strongly agreed it’s reasonable to expect to have passwords or codes to an intimate partner’s personal devices.
- 13.6% agreed or strongly agreed it’s reasonable to expect to be able to track an intimate partner whenever they want using location-sharing apps (e.g. using Life360, Find My Friends).
- 28.7% agreed or strongly agreed that insisting on checking how someone looks in a photo before they share or post it online is usually a sign of care from an intimate partner.
- 19.1% agreed or strongly agreed that wanting someone to be constantly available to respond to texts, calls, or video chats is usually a sign of care from an intimate partner.
- 15.3% agreed that constantly texting to check who someone is with or what they’re doing whenever you’re apart is usually a sign of care from an intimate partner.
“There are many practical and safe reasons why two people in an intimate relationship might consent to sharing their passcodes, tracking each other or sending frequent messages to check where the other person is or what they’re doing,” eSafety Commissioner Julie Inman Grant said.
“What’s concerning about these findings is the normalisation of these expectations within any intimate relationship.
“In this age of ubiquitous tech, we need to be careful not to inadvertently erode a partner’s privacy, boundaries and agency simply because digital devices allow us to track, cross-check and recheck their every action, like and dislike.
“If you’re on the receiving end of any of these behaviours or demands, especially with little or no regard for reciprocity or consent, please be vigilant. They could suggest a partner’s desire to keep tabs on you to control you.”
Just under ten percent (9.7%) of respondents agreed that both having someone’s personal passcodes and tracking someone whenever they want using location-sharing apps were reasonable expectations from an intimate partner. Just over eight per cent (8.4%) agreed that insisting on checking someone’s appearance in a photo before posting online, wanting someone to be constantly available to respond to texts, calls or video chat, and constantly texting someone were all usually signs of care from an intimate partner.
“When there are several red flags, it could be that you or someone you know is a target of tech-based coercive control. Tech-based coercive control isn’t a single act of abuse but a pattern of controlling behaviours. It’s often difficult to spot because the abuser will describe their abusive actions as acts of care or deep concern. But like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, this is abuse dressed up as love,” Ms Inman Grant said.
“While we need to conduct further research to understand what’s driving these attitudes and expectations, it’s clear more work needs to be done to raise awareness of tech-based coercive control and to reshape norms around digital privacy and respect between intimate partners, especially among younger adults and men.”
The research also revealed 81.4 per cent of adults agreed that employers should provide government resources to help workers safely respond to tech-based or digital-based abuse by a current or former intimate partner.
“When it comes to tech-based coercive control, the tentacles of abuse are numerous and wily because its vectors are the devices we use every day, carry everywhere and have in every room of our homes,” Ms Inman Grant said.
“We know from frontline workers that tech-based coercive control is almost always used in family, domestic and sexual violence, but it’s often only obvious once the abuser has infiltrated every digital nook and cranny to terrify and manipulate their victim. At that point, the victim is in a position of almost certain danger without expert support from a frontline service. And the victims are mostly women and their children, including young people in their first or early relationships.
“As we mark another 16 Days of Activism against Gender-based Violence, let’s remember that ending all forms of gender-based violence requires leadership right across society: government, community, the tech industry, and employers big and small.
“Australians are craving this leadership. Of the more than 80 per cent who agreed that employers should be distributing information and resources, almost 40 per cent of these were in strong agreement.
“We’re heeding that call by partnering with the Telco Together Foundation to champion and drive change by raising awareness tech-based coercive control right across Australia.”
From 3rd December, ten members of the Telco Together Foundation - Telstra, Optus, TPG Telecom, Vocus, Aussie Broadband, Superloop, Uniti Group, Tangerine Telecom, More Telecom and Indara - will be rolling out the ‘Love is’ campaign to help reinforce to customers and employees what love isn’t.
“At the Telco Together Foundation, we’re deeply committed to uniting the telecommunications industry to tackle some of Australia’s most pressing social challenges,” said Executive Director Renee Bowker.
“Together with our industry partners, we’ve developed initiatives including the Telco DFV CEO Pledge and the DFV Action Framework. This framework provides telcos, regardless of size, with a pathway to better support DFV victims and survivors.
"With direct access to nearly every business and household in the country, our industry holds an unparalleled ability to create meaningful, widespread change. This is both an immense responsibility and a powerful opportunity. The Industry’s DFV Pledge, signed by telco CEOs, symbolises a collective promise to take action, dedicate resources, and work together to drive long-term impact.
“This year, as part of the 16 Days of Activism and building on the DFV Pledge, we’re focused on empowering customers, businesses, and employees to recognise and address tech-based coercive control. Whether it’s being forced to share location data or dictating what can be shared online, these behaviours are deeply damaging and must be confronted.
“We don’t take our role lightly. As an industry, we are aware that while we provide lifelines to support victims/survivors, we may also inadvertently enable the tools used to perpetrate control and abuse. The 2024 Tech Abuse Consumer Campaign is a continuation of our shared five-year journey with telcos, leveraging our collective reach to spark awareness, inspire change, and protect the communities we serve. This work matters deeply to us, and we are unwavering in our commitment to make a difference.”
To learn more about tech-based coercive control, visit: Coercive control | What is coercive control? eSafety Commissioner
To report serious online abuse, visit: Report online harm | eSafety Commissioner
To find out more about the Telco Together Foundation’s Domestic and Family Violence Work, visit Domestic & Family Violence - Industry Impact Hub
About eSafety
The eSafety Commissioner is Australia’s independent regulator for online safety. Our purpose is to help safeguard all Australians from online harms and to promote safer, more positive online experiences.
eSafety acts as a safety net for Australians who report cyberbullying, serious online abuse or image-based abuse. We can also investigate and remove seriously harmful illegal and restricted content, including online child sexual exploitation material. Find out more: eSafety.gov.au
About the Telco Together Foundation
The Telco Together Foundation unites Australia’s telecommunications industry to create meaningful social change. Partnering with the nation’s largest telcos, we work towards a shared vision: that every person in Australia is positively affected by the use and provision of technology. By harnessing the collective power of the industry, our goal is to positively impact some of Australia’s most complex social challenges. Find out more: telcotogether.org